I am not having as many worrisome feelings about how another baby will affect our family as I did before Liam's arrival. After you have your first baby and are waiting for your second to arrive, I think every mother goes through feelings of "how can I possibly love another baby as much?", but you can, and I know that this time around. Some how, some way your heart just grows bigger and bigger with each baby.
I am having some worrisome feelings about how Liam is going to handle things. Lily, she's sort of a pro...
|Lily & baby Maxton|
Liam, well, he is very dependent on me and I am worried about how he is going to feel about another baby taking my time away from him. I have presents ready and we have been talking up the "Big Brother" role, but I am prepared for a lot of growing pains and I am scared he is going to have some hurt feelings.
I have also had irritational worries about birth marks, fingers and toes and just something going wrong in general. Tomorrow I know I am going to have some worries when we walk into the operating room (it always brings back memories of Lily's birth).
I can't believe that this pregnancy is coming to and end. There was talk about a fourth baby for a while, but I am almost 100% positive that Lydia is going to be our last baby. That is bittersweet. But, this pregnancy has made me feel better about the decision. There have been things this time around that have happened to my body, that are just crazy...like I haven't been able to put my own socks on for weeks and I can't bend to pick up toys. I think I am just getting too old to carry anymore babies.
Of course I am going to miss my belly, not the fact that I can't reach anything because of it, but the feeling that only I can feel, her on the inside, knowing she's always with me, that I am keeping her safe, that is something I will miss feeling again.
I wish I could tell you I had a completely relaxing day off of work...but it went down more like this:
I woke up at 3:00 a.m. and started cleaning my house like a mad woman. Because apparently I am crazy, or pregnant.
Got ready, tried to shave my legs.
Took Lily to the bus stop.
Went to Target to get a new monitor for Liam and groceries.
Met my sister for a pedicure. Had a lot of explaining to do about the condition of my toes and how I haven't been able to touch them. Also had to explain why they looked like Hobbit feet. Luckily the manicurist didn't bring out a chisel or blow torch. But she did recommend that I upgrade to get a paraffin wax - whatever it takes, I agreed.
Ran additional errands, that resulted in more swelling of my hands, feet and face and just an overall feeling of discomfort.
Came home and the monitor doesn't work - awesome!
Call my sister to vent my frustrations and to tell her that my feet have only gotten bigger since I've seen her. She can't believe it.
Clean house, do laundry, pick Lily up from bus stop.
Go to dinner with Chris, Lily and Liam to PF Chang's. Can't finish my food because I am huge and uncomfortable and can feel that my feet might be ripping my shoes off.
Fall asleep on the car ride home.
Put Big Sister and the Little Brother to sleep.
Realize I still have a million things to do and my feet are even BIGGER!
One of those things is finally packing my bag. I wonder why I didn't tackle this weeks ago?
Take my blood pressure just to be sure nothing like pre-eclampsia is going on - and it's through the roof. Not good.
Weigh myself to see if I am retaining water and realize that I have gained 9 pounds since Tuesday morning. Yikes!
At least I have less than 10 hours to go at this point.
I also realized that I somehow never pre-registered with the hospital, I hope my nurse doesn't hate me.
So, things went well today :)
I am happy and grateful that I made it this far and pray that everything goes great tomorrow. We are really excited to meet her and see who she looks like, what her personality will be like and how Lily and Liam will love her.
Lily is super excited and keeps counting down the days, when she came off the bus today the first thing she said to me was "Lydia comes tomorrow!". And Liam knows she is coming and is excited, and I hope he still is when he realizes she is staying with us forever.
Tomorrow our family will grow bigger and so will our hearts!!!
Pregnancy: 39 weeks
Weight Gain: 24 pounds - yes I have gained 9 pounds since Tuesday!
Sleep: Still not very good, it's uncomfortable and the pressure doesn't let up while I'm sleeping.
Name: Lydia Jane
Feeling: Right now, I feel pretty miserable.
Cravings: I am still craving a margarita!
Health: I have had really bad swelling since Tuesday. Nothing was really alarming to me because my blood pressure has been fine, until tonight, but I have less than 10 hours until my section.
Movement: Movements are now big and I feel like my whole body moves when she does.
Belly: It is stretched as far as it can go.
Frecklestache: Dare I say, it might actually be gone!
Current Medications: I stopped Arixtra on Tuesday night to prepare for my C-section.
Next Appointment: Tomorrow!